


Please never fall in love again

by metaphoricalpluto



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Crying, Faking Emotions, Heartbreak, breakdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 17:49:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metaphoricalpluto/pseuds/metaphoricalpluto
Summary: Roman falls in love, but after a broken heart, he’s not sure he wants to fall in love ever again.





	Please never fall in love again

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, im sorry for this. I heard the song “Please never fall in love again” by Ollie MN and imediately thought of some Roman angst i could do with this. So here it is! Also, this is my first time finishing a song fic (woop) so im sorry if its kinda bad aha. But yea, ill shush now lol

_Could have been one lonely night,_

_Just like the others_

 

It was well known that out of the sides, Virgil was the one who got the most anxious. The one who holed up in his room sometimes for days. The one who was sometimes the loneliest.

However, what wasn’t really known was how the creative side felt.

He always seemed so enthusiastic and _extra_ it wasn’t really easy to see how he felt through it all. He jokes about his ‘lonely nights’ spent ‘lying in wait for a young fellow to hold in his arms tightly’. And sure, the others took them as jokes, as Roman had originally intended them to be. But in reality, they weren’t fully jokes.

There were many nights where he found himself lying in bed, the empty space around him reminding him of how alone he was. Sometimes on those nights he cried, something he just stared lifelessly at the ceiling. Things became even worse once he developed a crush on the resident emo of the 4 of them.

On those lonely nights he found himself imagining what it might be like to hold him close in his arms, what it might be like to not be so alone and have him by his side. Sure during the day he was able to be with the other sides and Mr Edgelord himself, but that didn’t really do much for when he was alone. There was still no one to hold, to talk to, to be there for, to be with. It was just Roman, and Roman alone. And there wasn’t much he could do about it as he was too scared to talk to Virgil about his crush, afraid of rejection.

So Roman just stayed like that, lonely nights coming often, tears in the came capacity. And still no one knew of his solitude.

He was lonely.

All until Virgil came up to him and said he had a crush on Roman.

 

_But you lit up my life_

_This is what it’s like to be lovers_

 

Once the two of them had sorted things out, Roman confessing back to Virgil. Tears may have been shed and that night was the first in ages that Roman had not spent alone.

The next day was spent much the same, just admiring each other and enjoying the presence of each other, and how they both felt next to each other. Smiles and gentle kisses were shared in abundance. Both glad to be with the one they love.

The week following the confession was much the same as well. Both happier now they were with each other. Virgil was still a little slow on the relationship/opening up side, but Roman would be willing to wait for as long as the other needed. Even if it took months, he’d wait.

 

_You may never be lonely again_

 

It was a promise Roman had told Virgil one night as they lay in bed together. Now they were together there would be no more nights spent alone – for either of them. They’d both smiled with the sentence, both hoping, promising for a future where they’d be together.

Even Logan and Patton could somehow tell Roman was feeling a lot better – even if they hadn’t known his previous struggles. Roman no longer made lonely jokes in vain, but as actual jokes, sarcastically asking ‘what he would ever do without his dark knight be his side’. Solitude was banished from the prince’s room, no more tears and crying over empty space as now it was no longer empty.

Roman was happy and so was Virgil.

 

_Spin with me, endlessly or at least until the end_

 

Dancing was one of the things Roman was known for being good at, and he definitely showed that to Virgil.

Date nights, while most were mainly movie nights and lounging on the couch, were sometimes occasionally ended with Roman taking the darker side’s hand and leading him into a slow dance. Swaying from foot to foot in time with the slow beat of the music playing softly in the background. Huddled against each other, holding on as if they planned to never let go again. Sharing moments of raw affection, soft whisperings and secret promises to never be apart again until death.

They often took up the whole living room, their swaying taking them in circles, spinning gradually as they went. Times like these seemed to go on forever, not that either of them were complaining, they were tunes they both treasured dearly.

Eventually they would have to stop for the night, mostly due to the fact that it was late and also because they were tired.

Even though the slow dance may have stopped, it didn’t mean that they stopped showing their love for each other even after and continued until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

_Please never fall in love again,_

_Oh, please never fall in love again_

 

Roman knew that he was happy with how things were at the moment. He had found the love of his life, his prince, and he was able to spend every moment with him. He loved Virgil dearly and he hoped that wouldn’t change.

He hoped to hell and back that this would stay forever. That they would both stay in love forever. He knew how sometimes people’s feelings changed over time. And he knew how much that hurt when that happened, while it may not have happened to him, he’d seen it happen to others. but he was determined to make sure that didn’t happen to him.

Besides, he and Virgil were oh so terribly in love at that moment, it was hard to see them ever breaking up. So Roman payed this train of thought no mind. It didn’t matter after all.

He loved Virgil, and Virgil loved him, there wasn’t anything that could change that.

Right?

 

_And if some other guy, catches your eye_

 

It was a weird feeling. After a good number of months of being together, Roman felt as if Virgil was becoming distant. Sure, he could have put it down to the other having possibly more work to do than usual – though Roman couldn’t see any reasons why he would have more work – but it felt like something else.

Date nights became few and not as often as they used to be. When Roman asked if Virgil wanted to watch a film, these days more often than not, he’d politely decline, giving some kind of excuse and Roman would be left to himself once more. Just like those nights before he got together with Virgil.

Kisses became fewer and while Roman reminded Virgil everyday how he loved him, the other responded with hesitation, if at all. Sometimes it was only a mere nod of the head.

He could feel Virgil slipping away slowly, and he had no idea how to fix it. It was then that he started to realise.

Virgil’s glances at the moral side. The way his eyes lingered and looked at him the way he once looked at Roman,

How he saw Virgil trying to get closer to Patton, but also staying away as if his anxiety was holding him back – to be fair he was the embodiment of anxiety after all.

After a while it seemed like Virgil spent more time with Patton than he did with his boyfriend – if you could still call him that at this point. They always baked cookies together and more than once when Roman had requested a date night, Virgil had declined as he’d apparently already made plans for the night with Patton.

Honestly, Roman became to question if Virgil even loved him anymore. He didn’t know what hurt more, the thought of it, or the fact that he had thought about it so much recently, when he saw the two together it was all he could think of. So he just had to go around saying he was fine, even when he saw Patton returning Virgil’s gazes sometimes, he had to continue on with a slowly breaking heart.

 

_Please just text me your goodbye_

 

It was an evening when Virgil decided to speak up. Roman had asked him to watch a movie with him, but Virgil had once again said no, but also said that he had to admit something to Roman.

By this time he kinda guessed what was coming, but he still had to keep hopeful. Just in case what he though was coming wasn’t actually, and maybe he was just imagining it all.

But alas, at some point the truth had to come.

Virgil carefully explained how he had come to no longer harbour any romantic feelings towards the creative side anymore, and that he now had feelings for Patton instead.

God it would have been so much easier if this was all written down in a letter or a text. Roman wouldn’t have to deal with the grief and emotion in Virgil’s voice as he confessed.

But Roman had to stay strong, this wasn’t going to break him. Besides, he had kinda already guessed it before Virgil even said anything anyways. He had guessed for a while now. But hearing Virgil say that he didn’t love him anymore just hurt more than he thought, even as Virgil apologised.

 

_You know i don’t look pretty when I cry_

 

He reassured Virgil that it was fine, that it was perfectly okay. That people change and he’d support him and Patton’s relationship if they ever got together. All the while, while saying this he fought back tears. He was a good actor, so the emotions were hidden behind a mask he put up.

He didn’t want to look pathetic in front of Virgil.

However when he returned to his room after bidding the other goodnight, all walls and masks he put up to shield his sadness from Virgil crumbles and he fell to the floor, sobbing his heart out. He had been on many a quest before and had experienced pain, but nothing like this.

So he cried and cried, until there were no more tears to come and all that was left was simply a hollow shell, not sure of what to do next. Tear tracks trances the sides of his face and his eyes were red, his hair a mess from where he had ran his hands through it in an attempt to make himself feel better.

Patton had come to check on him at some point later that night. He didn’t open the door as he knew he looked like utter crap, but he tried his best to sound cheerful and like he was actually okay as he replied through the door. Which seemed to be enough for Patton to leave him alone, satisfied with Roman’s answer.

He fell asleep, not bothering to get back up from the floor and onto his bed. All sense of motivation had left him and he felt so broken and lost. He’d lost the love of his life and he’d never felt so alone, not even the times before his relationship. So for that moment he just tried to sleep, too tired to do anything else.

 

_And I don’t want that to be your final glimpse of me, baby_

 

The next morning when he got up he still looked like utter crap. But he masked it with layers of makeup and put on a smile as he headed down to breakfast, pretending as if his breakdown hadn’t happened the previous night. He was given a curious look from Virgil, but he only smiled in reply.

Breakfast went as it normally did, apart from at the end he somehow found himself confessing to the others that he and Virgil had broken up, it was going to have to come out at some points anyways, better get it out of the way earlier than later. It received a shocked gasp from Patton, who asked if they were okay. Roman brushed it off of course, not wanting to concern him with his problems and troubles. So they all accepted it and moved on, due to Roman’s good acting and managing to get them to understand quickly enough.

The next morning when he came down, once again hiding his true feelings when he saw Virgil, it seemed as if afore mentioned side had something to announce. And it was probably something to do with Patton as the both of them seemed to be smiling at each other a lot.

Virgil and Patton were now a couple.

It took a few moment s for the information to sink in, but when he did he immediately congratulated the two of them, ignoring the pain he felt in his check as he did so. Everyone seemed so happy and cheerful. Once it was over, Roman once again retreated back to his room, the others believing he was fine. When in reality, he really wasn’t.

He got into his room and cried once more. Cursing the world and his heart. His makeup was ruined, so there was no point in going back and seeing the others again that day. So he just spent the rest of the day in his realm, fighting imaginary dragon witches to ignore how his heart ached. He fought until he could physically fight no more and he collapsed on his bed. Loneliness once again worming its way into his chest and making him feel slip back to the days he spent countless nights alone.

It seemed those days never really left for good and were now back with a vengeance.

 

_But if you could please return my Shrek DVDs, maybe_

 

Later in the week, he gathered the courage to go up to Virgil’s room after realising he’d leant said side some of his Disney films. He approached the door cautiously and just as e was about to knock, the door opened and revealed a slightly startled Virgil standing there, holding a small-ish pile Roman’s DVDs, and a few other things Roman had forgotten he’d given Virgil.

With little conversation, Roman took the items and brought them back to his room, turning back only to see Patton approach Virgil and see them share a kiss.

He proceeded straight to his room and set the things aside, once again going back into his realm to fight.

Roman could see Virgil was returning all the things he’d given him when they were in love. And Roman couldn’t honestly blame him. He wouldn’t want anything he’d given anyone either. But he was still upset and then turned that sadness into fighting rage as he tore through enemy after enemy.

Every day spending more time in his own realm than he did with the other sides. Not that they really noticed, they thought he was just trying to get some creative energy out or something like that.

 

_Please never fall in love again_

 

It was during one of his battles that he decided. It hurt too much to fall in love. Love hurt too much. Maybe it would be easier if it never happened again. Maybe it would be easier if it never happened in the first place.

Either way, he made a decision and he didn’t think of ever going against it.

He would close off his heart. He didn’t want to feel the pain of love again, didn’t want to deal with the heart ache which ensued afterwards. He didn’t want to fall in love ever again. He planned to stick to his decision, for as long as possible.

No, he wouldn’t fall for anyone anymore. After what had happened, he’d make sure it never happened again.

Ever.

 

_Oh, please never fall in love again._

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry


End file.
